Tag Archives: horror

Attack of the Killer Bugs

I have never really considered myself to be a girly girl but I just proved myself worthy of some big girl panties.

But let me start at the beginning.

Last night I decided it was time for a long overdue drink with a good friend at her home. It was a beautiful evening so we sat chatting on her patio, finished a glass (read bottle) or two of wine and debated on the best way to redesign her little garden. Everything was going well until we were attacked. That’s right, ATTACKED! Attacked in her garden by the biggest bug from hell!

Of course we screamed, ran inside the house slamming the glass door behind us which proved to be an effective way of keeping out the beast.

Now if you are wondering what the devil’s bugs look like, I have very kindly provided an image.

The ugliest bug in the world, this one is about 8cm long.

Needless to say, my beloved friend is currently single and kindly pointed out to me that she needs to deal with issues like regularly without the assistance of a man (I happily choose to utilise my hubby as often as possible to discard beasties and other creepy crawlies) and armed herself with a very large, heavy brick.

Last night my beloved friend saved us from 3 monsters, showed limited fear and can now hold her brick high to show the world she can do anything.

That was just the first half of the story.

This evening, in fact only about ten minutes ago, I proved myself worthy of my very own brick when I discovered a beastie roaming free on my living room carpet. Now, this creepy crawly wasn’t quite up to the standard of last night’s horror but it was red, long and had plenty of legs.

I tackled this one alone!!!

This wasn’t the first time I had encountered these sneaky little buggers, in fact my cats do enjoy bringing them in to show them off. But it was the first time I was alone at home without the safety of getting ole’ hubby to peacefully relocate the thing so I sucked it up, armed myself with the heart covered Valentine’s paper bag that was still lying next to the couch and guided IT to its release.

What I didn’t realise was how hard the bastard was and as soon as I turn the bag upright and it hit the paper bottom, the scratching started and the entire bag vibrated. Well I am not sure why my security company didn’t arrive guns a-blazing with the scream I let out, but once I had composed myself, I realised that the bloody thing was still in the bag in the middle of my living room!

Anyhoo, the bag is now lying in the middle of the front garden and the beast has been release back into the wild.

Yay me!

(For anyone who is keen on a little more info on the 1st monster beast, you may enjoy this blog, too.)

As an aside, I have a little white and ginger cat for sale. CHEAP! She just brought in the bloody red bug with the hundred legs…

 

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